January 2006 Bulletin Message

For Your Consideration - Rabbi Mark Dov Shapiro

     Several months back, I called a congregant whose child had recently returned from a rehab setting. We were talking about the young man’s path into substance abuse and the difficult road he was following to regain his life. One activity involved attending Alcoholics Anonymous as many times a week as possible.
     “But, there’s one problem with AA,” said the mother. “It feels so Christian.”
     She was right. Years ago I volunteered as a rabbi in a rehab setting that focused on AA. The challenge for the Jewish patients there was to follow the path of recovery and somehow redefine it for themselves in Jewish terms.
     As a volunteer, I did not become an expert, but I did learn a few things. First and most obviously, our Jewish community is not immune from families in trouble. There is substance abuse amongst us. (As we learned at our recent December 11 brunch, there is most definitely domestic violence.) Although Jews may still have less family dysfunction than the general population, as the years go by we are catching up. It’s important to admit that out loud.
     The second thing I learned was that there are Jewish resources available. I referred our congregant to an organization called JACS - Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons, and Significant Others. (For domestic abuse, you can call me at Sinai or a confidential Jewish hotline..1-888-883-2323..or Jewish Family Service..737-2601.)
     I also drew her attention to a book by Rabbi Kerry Olitzky called, Twelve Steps to Recovery: a personal guide to turning from alcoholism & other addictions. (For domestic abuse, the book to consult is Sins of Omission by Carol Goodman Kaufman.)
     I think it’s also worth noting the heading you can find on the JACS website: Whoever saves a single life saves the world.
     Perhaps simply admitting that not all our families are perfect is the way to begin saving our families. We all do our best. Sometimes we produce the “perfect” family. More often, luck and circumstance result in the “good” family; sometimes we can’t even manage that. It’s in times of crisis when we most need each other. Please call me or reach out to someone else you trust. None of us needs to be alone.