Reflections from Sinai Temple

A Note from Rabbi Shapiro

Over the last several years, we have developed a custom of preparing for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur via special e-mail communications. We have done this by sending messages throughout the Hebrew month that culminates with Rosh Hashanah. This special month of preparation is called ELUL.

To see what was said in previous years or to follow the messages for the current year, please follow the links at the bottom of this page.

In order to be ready for the intensity of the High Holidays, Judaism proposes that we "warm up." We start to think holiday thoughts in the weeks leading up to the holidays. I hope these reflections help you start to get in the holiday mood.

16 Elul 5775
August 31, 2015

Full Moons and Marching for Justice

Dear Sinai Friends -

If you've looked up to the sky over the past night or two, you've certainly seen the August full moon which also happens to be the full moon for the Hebrew month of ELUL.

That moon is like a clock for us Jews.

When it's full (or even a day or two later), the moon tells us that the month of ELUL is passing. The next month (arriving in less than two weeks) will be TISHRI, which brings us the Jewish New Year.

It's because Rosh Hashanah is coming that I will be sending you a few extra messages in the coming two weeks. Moving towards the New Year... I'll send along some ELUL Reflections.

My first reflection connects to my experience last week when I was privileged to join the NAACP's Journey for Justice. That involved flying down to Columbia, South Carolina where I joined about 40 other people on a march that began weeks ago in Selma, Alabama and will end in Washington DC in a little over two weeks.

The Journey for Justice is proceeding on foot with volunteers on this 800 mile trek to call attention to the ongoing need for justice when it comes to African Americans in our country.

On my marching day - August 25 - our group walked 13 miles in the humid heat of South Carolina past the capitol building where that infamous Confederate flag flew up until recently. We then proceeded through a variety of streets in Columbia working our way "north" towards Washington.

What was it like?

It was HOT.

It was physically challenging.

It was spiritually uplifting to stand shoulder to shoulder with African Americans who love this country but so much need this country to live up to its highest ideals. As one NAACP representative told me, it is almost "safer" for his two children (one a boy and the other a female) to be in the Army than it is for them to be at home. No one can be sure what will happen to a young black person going on as innocent an activity as buying candy at a local store. (Remember Trayvon Martin?) Ironically, serving the country in the Army may keep a young black person safer than being at home!

On the March I met several Reform rabbis who wanted to stand with this cause.

We actually carried a Torah scroll that day which promises justice for all. The scroll has been in the hands of marchers since Selma and will be there when the March culminated in DC.

How does it all relate to the High Holidays?

It's a question of values and purposes.

Ask yourself: What purpose do you march for and care about in your life? What worries you in your life? What makes you feel safe? What makes you feel proud about what you do? What do you wish you did with more integrity? In the words of a saying from the 1960's, are you part of the problem or are you part of the solution?

Elul leads us to Tishri which leads us to new beginnings.

Have you "made" a good year out of these last 12 months?

Can you "make" a better year in the coming New Year.

L'shalom,

Rabbi Mark Shapiro

20 Elul 5775
September 4, 2015

Dear Sinai -

It's been a fascinating pre-High Holiday week.

On Wednesday, I spent a wonderful evening with about a dozen Sinai congregants showing them highlights of our new High Holiday prayerbook. The group was fascinated by the layout of the new book as well as the contemporary tone of the new readings in the book.

Although I've spent many hours reading through the book, this was one of the first times I actually heard the pieces read out loud! And it was different. Hearing the words in a group setting I was able to see how the prayerbook speaks about God in very important ways.

At one point, we realized that the prayerbook was offering two visions of God on two facing pages.

On the right hand page, we read a traditional prayer which suggested that God was the source of miracles and power in the world.

On the facing left hand page, we encountered another possibility. Not that God was THE source of power in the universe but that there is a PARTNERSHIP between us and God in the universe. We are necessary actors in God's plan. WE are the authors of that familiar Book of Life. It's God'S book, but it is also ours.

When you're at services, you'll see this tension played out.

How much does God "own" our world? How much do we "own" our own destinies? There is a give-and-play.

There is judgment and there is freedom for us.

I think you'll find this aspect of the new holiday prayerbook intriguing and uplifting.

And on another note, yesterday I met with BISHOP MITCHELL ROZANSKI. He has been leader of the Springfield Roman Catholic Diocese for a little over a year.

I visited with the Bishop to prepare for his visit to Sinai TempLe on Friday, October 23 at our 7:30 p.m. service.

He'll be talking then about interfaith matters as well as his involvement in the visit by Pope Francis to the United States.

Yesterday, however, Bishop Rozanski and I also talked about the Church's forthcoming "year of mercy." At the very time of year when we Jews are thinking thoughts about sin, forgiveness, and "mercy," it turns out that the Church will inaugurate a full year of "mercy" this Fall. Our traditions differ greatly, but there is something profound and important that links us.

Who would expect this?

Is it even possible to imagine our learning about Judaism by learning something about Christianity?

I'm thinking the question might almost be a fascinating issue for us to consider when Yom Kippur arrives. Stay tuned.

Think New Year thoughts.

Tomorrow night is our coffeehouse Selichot event.

See below for a final "thought" piece.

Rabbi Mark Shapiro

What Kind of Jew are You?

Anticipating the High Holidays, what kind of Jew are you? What does this religious enterprise mean to you? Which one of the following "labels" might describe you?

Wandering Jews

Questioning Jews

Cultural Jews

Mixed Marriage Jews

Mixed up Jews

Non-Jews

LGBT Jews

Creative Jews

Jew BU's

Searching Jews

Passionate Jews

Intellectual Jews

High Holiday Jews

Artistic Jews

Agnostic Jews

Haven't Been In Shul Since My Bar Mitzvah Jews

8 Tishri 5776
September 21, 2015

Sinai Temple's Very Own Viddui/Confession: From 2010 to 2015
On Kol Nidre night 2010, Rabbi Shapiro invited all those present at the service to record their "sins" privately. Several hundred people were given time to record whatever they felt their "sins" were on small postcards. At the end of the service the cards were collected. Rabbi Shapiro sorted through them that night and the next morning he presented the list to the congregation.
These were Sinai's sins. This became Sinai Temple's VIDDUI or Confession. The actual words of Sinai congregants. Real. Immediate. Unfiltered. Personal. Honest.
Here is the Viddui again. Still powerful years later. Although the Rabbi has read it aloud, this is the first time it's ever been published. The Rabbi is sharing it now because the Viddui is such a treasure and also because this year we will not be reading this Viddui at services. We will, instead, be using the Viddui presented for the very first time in our new Machzor/Prayerbook.

For the record and because the words are so powerful, here is Sinai Temple's viddui/confession... 2010

Forgive me: for not living joyously in the moment.

Hineni: Procrastination is easy. It envelopes and it holds one back from involvement. Stuck in excuses, stuck without vision. Stuck without motion.

I have not lived up to my potential at work. Sometimes I don't give everything my best effort. I take for granted the skills I have and don't give 100%.

The sin of judging my patients too harshly and being impatient with their attempts to improve their lives.

For making excuses for myself and others.

Working too hard, too many hours, and not taking care of myself better.

Forgive me for my self-righteousness and arrogance.

Being too quick to use sarcasm. The sin of jumping to conclusions and not being forgiving.

For making a 9 a.m. appointment every day knowing I will be late.

For wasting time.

I lied to an insurance adjuster.

Cynicism that doesn't allow me to see the good in people and that points my work and my worldview.

I have sinned by speaking badly of co-workers behind their backs out of my own frustration and not understanding or seeing the complete picture.

I wish I had known how really ill a co-worker was. For a few years, had I been aware of it, I could have had more patience during difficult days.

Jealous and spiteful of people with more wealth and fortune than me.

Expecting too much of others.

Self-absorption. Taking others for granted.

For the sin of not doing enough to protect our planet.

Denying medical care to a person on welfare because I felt I was already taking care of too many patients for whom I do not get paid.

Often I talk passionately about the poverty I see in the community and throughout the word. Yet I rarely do anything about it.

For the sin of not supporting our symphony orchestra by not going to their concerts.

I forgot my father's yahrzeit.

I have not stood up to intolerance as much as I should society needs.

I haven't always recycled and conserved but instead chose convenience.

I have too often failed to speak out when I see failures of our government and our society to act justly both home and abroad.

I haven't instilled Judaism into my family better. I wish it was more important to them.

I feel I complain too much.

I hold onto resentments too long.

The sin of lust. Smoking cigarettes.

For sin against my body... not caring for it, over eating or eating badly, not making time to exercise. Generally being reckless with my physical health.

I have been arrogant and put others down, used illegal substances, and lied to improve myself in the eyes of others.

The sin of being too quiet.

Talking when I should have been quiet; been quiet when I should have talked.

Sharing someone else's secret that was not mine to tell at all.

I ask forgiveness for gossiping and for taking pleasure in feeling part of a group at the expense of an exclusion of another.

Repeating gossip.

I have been part of malicious gossip.

Road rage. Cursing at bad drivers.

Not controlling my temper. Short-tempered.

Being impatient. Being impatient. Being impatient.

Being judgmental.

AND ... ONE MORE THEME WHICH PROBABLY CAME ACROSS ON MORE CARDS THAN ANY OTHER TOPIC.

THE INTIMATE, POWERFUL, LOVING, CHALLENGING AREA OF RELATIONSHIPS AND FAMILY...

For not prioritizing the way I should - instead of calling my brothers,

I'm busy with "other" things.

For the sin of keeping a hardened heart rather than opening to love.

Denying love to those who love me.

I did not welcome my son's girlfriend with an open heart.

For not treating my children all equally.

For screaming at my children out of anger, rage, and hunger, sometimes even during the last moments before I turn out their bedroom lights, when instead I should pause, breathe deeply, and say - I love you.

For the sin of not having enough patience and kindness towards my mother and father.

A feeling of guilt about not being a more loving patient tolerant daughter, spouse, friend, leaving much unsaid that should have been said.

For putting myself above my children and husband.

For resenting the burden of caring for an aged and ill mother.

I was not always the best daughter I could have been. I am filled with regret, pain, and sadness.

The sin I have committed by lying to my wife about stupid little things she knows I'm lying about, forcing her to ask me even the simplest question multiple times.

Quality time with family.

For taking out my frustrations and disappointments on the people I love the most.

For the sin of not telling family and friends often enough how much they are appreciated.

My failure to mention my appreciation to my wife for all her sacrifices. There is no other person who would give so much of self for someone else.

For the sin I have committed by speaking negatively about my children's mother in front of my children.

Not appreciating my children enough when they are young and live at home.

I am not patient enough with my husband.

I have been impatient with my granddaughter.

Not listening enough to my spouse and supporting him.

The sin of desiring another at the risk of turning my back on my very loving family.

My impatience with my wife.

My sin - Not keeping my promise to my wife about losing weight.

I have sinned because I have not told my wife how much I love her.

Sometimes I lash out at my family when I am tired or frustrated and I hurt the people I love the most.

I have not been as nice and understanding to the wife I have loved for most of my life.

Failing to accept my wife's faults without criticizing her.

Not being as nice to my wife as I should be.

Not being as nice to my husband as I should be.

AND SO it goes...

A HUNDRED PEOPLE... 600 PEOPLE...

WITH REGRETS..WITH SECRETS!

All of us... EACH of us coming up short.

In one way or another, each of us has missed the mark of trying to be our best. We have sinned.

But here's the hope for me, your Rabbi: Now you know and I know we're not alone.

The communal viddui we've been reading out of the printed prayerbook all these years. The notion that we all sin, we all transgress. It's actually real. What's more, your neighbor apparently knows your heart, knows your pain. Stumbles as you do.

Each of us... all of us... so much do want to be better.

So much do hope and plan for a better year... a new year.

So we hope and pray... V'al kulam... For all these sins, o God of mercy, forgive us, pardon us, grant us atonement.

Previous years' reflections